Your mind is a sick place. When you know that things are on the verge of falling into pieces, your mind immediately tries to find solace at some place else. Simply because your college life is going to end you begin sending sentimental emails and try socialising with juniors hoping to get more and more sympathy. I’m not saying this. This is a Third Person’s perspective. Not mine. If anyone comes in front of me and tells me all this, I’ll kick his @$$. But it’s true. And tell me what else can a person do? My parents don’t live with me, or else I could have told them. Even though I may wish to go home for a break, I cannot. Some people ask me why is it that I like to stay in the college till late in the evening. I say it’s because my plight along with few of my friends is like a cancer patient who knows he’s going to die in a few days. So the doctor asks him to enjoy as much as he can.
It’s like asking someone to put his life in order in a span of few days, for which you thought you had years. And here too love is all that anyone needs, from anyone. Because when your primary source gets exhausted you start looking for greener pastures. Darwin’s theory of survival. When the resources in your habitat begins to deplete, you move to better and more fertile lands. Same is the case here. For me and my friends. Its not that I am trying to socialise more with juniors because my friends don’t understand me. It’s because my friends are going through the same situation. They too need emotional release. I may use one way, they may use others.
Some might feel that Third Year students are crackpots. But the irony is all the Third Year students have been crackpots and they’ll continue to be. One who is proactive at BKMIBA-HLBBA simply cannot fathom the prospect of leaving the institute. And the problem is the people whom I’m trying to mingle simply cannot understand how it feels.
Maybe I’m asking too much, I don’t know. You need to experience to understand it. But this is one experience I would suggest one should not go through. It’s threatening and even horrifying to a certain extent. Get a girl friend or boy friend I would say. At least you can part after having some fight or something. Or maybe you get tired with each other. Here, it’s not the case. Here, the more you give, the more you’ll get in return. It’s like quicksand. The more you try to get out, the more you get in. It’s like sweet poison. Nothing devilish about it, yet one likes to be in that aura. An aura that binds them, that surrounds them, which makes people feel at home. Or maybe more than just that.
And why does this happen? Because its love. You love the college for all that it has to offer and you can offer back. Even though it has its own set of flaws, you love it; because every human being too has flaws, can’t an institute have any? I know students other than from BKMIBA-HLBBA might say that this guy has gone nuts, he’s a weirdo who feels he knows too much Shakespearian English, but then, as I always say, this is my blogspot not yours. So buzz off.
All I want to say is that sometimes, or rather most of the times in life; Love is all the conviction you’ll ever need. When you know someone loves you, someone cares about you; you feel that you don’t need anything else in life. And don’t perceive the word ‘love’ with that perverted mind of yours. I’m talking about love which you don’t find in this world these days. Not physical, not temporary, but eternal. Something which we have forgotten to experience years ago by watching too many ‘k’ type serials. I don’t want to debate on that any further.
You know sometimes I curse myself that am I not capable of handling my own self? I’ve already turned 18, so I’m expected to be an adult and think like one if not act like one. But the truth is every adult has a child within him or her, which makes him/her insecure. And until you have someone, you feel empty, incomplete, hollow… I talk to mom everyday; yet, the mental security that you have when she’s around in person is much more than just talking to her on the phone.
These 3 years have been a cacophony of upheavals, a tissue of contraries. I’ve been there, done that. From agony to ecstasy. From here to eternity and back, traversing in circles and sometimes even moving out of one sphere to other. That’s how it has been, with all its masala of typhiods and dengues, crushes and smashes, antarnaads and university exams, they all give you an elevating experience that even the best Oscar winning movie fails to provide. Because, here you are the hero, the villain, and depending upon your vital statistics you might even get a heroine!!!
It all boils down to love. One that a perverted mind does not understand. One that Richard Bach tries to teach, one that Osho tries to propagate, one that I wanted, but am still unsure of whether I acquired it or not…
Note: If you want to understand how I feel, listen to these songs
Greenday – Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Linkin Park – My December
Jal – Mana Bikrohon Main
Goals in Life [Part 1]
For some there are better things in life than blabbering on an inane topic like ‘Goals in Life’. But for some, when things are on the verge of falling into pieces there’s no better topic that he can talk about. I think I’ve made my disclaimers so I wish to begin.
To start with, let me tell you something very specifically. There are some things in this world that I agree with and some things that I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that the things I disagree with are outrightly rejected or neglected. They might not hold any importance for me but for someone else they might be true.
Let’s get to the point. Goals in life. A very boring topic if you’re listening to someone else’s goal, perhaps even intimidating. But a very interesting one when you think of your own. Because that’s when the complexities begin to arise. That’s when the true evaluation takes place. Because you peep into your own conscience, your own conviction and try to rate yourself with the type of people which are in demand. And that’s what I’ve been doing since the beginning of the Third Year.
Agreed, I’m preparing for the MBA entrance exams since past one year. But after all the running around, I feel, what’s the f@#$ing point in going through such an activity? Can you evaluate the effectiveness of a manager through evaluating the number of RC attempts he makes? Can you evaluate how effective will be the marketing skills of a manager based on the attempts in quantitative areas?
One might argue that it is a system followed everywhere, even abroad and there are even other selection tools like Group Discussions and Personal Interviews that assist better selection. Agreed. But for me there’s a lot more to a manager’s life than just projects and presentations. There’s more that goes in the evaluation of an individual than just the conventional GDs and PIs. And that’s why I simply do not want The Conventional Indian MBA to be my near future goal in life.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a whacko iconoclast always trying to question how things function. All I feel is, we deserve more value than what we get. And this is what I feel, so go to some other website if you feel like questioning my feelings. Drishti is perhaps the greatest teacher in this direction.
Just think. From the Director to the student who knew about the Mega Edition project were unsure about the feasibility of the project. But I had to prove them wrong. And I did. Actually it was quite some time after the project when I realized the enormity of the situation. When people looked at me amazed and dumbfounded on the fact that I had collected 37500 rupees for the Mega Edition. That’s when I realized, that when focus meets dedication, anything is possible. Perhaps it has been rightly said by Benjamin Desraili – “The secret of success is constancy of purpose”.
And this exercise made me realize how underestimated is a person’s potential. Because its not only about me. Any other person who had the willingness to make this thing happen would have made it. Knowledge and clarity of thought will be mere catalysts. Rest is all up to you.
The entire exercise has made me more liberated. It doesn’t matter if people joke about you or your feelings. Because you know who’ll have the last laugh. Thanks to Drishti, I’ve found a new path. This path in simple English translates to – pursuing MBA from Said Business School, Oxford University. Yeah right. Read that again sucker. Its Oxford University.
Exaggerated? I don’t think so. Besides as I had already said, its my blog not yours. And I know how things will work out. Conviction will carry me far. Just wait for a few years.
To start with, let me tell you something very specifically. There are some things in this world that I agree with and some things that I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that the things I disagree with are outrightly rejected or neglected. They might not hold any importance for me but for someone else they might be true.
Let’s get to the point. Goals in life. A very boring topic if you’re listening to someone else’s goal, perhaps even intimidating. But a very interesting one when you think of your own. Because that’s when the complexities begin to arise. That’s when the true evaluation takes place. Because you peep into your own conscience, your own conviction and try to rate yourself with the type of people which are in demand. And that’s what I’ve been doing since the beginning of the Third Year.
Agreed, I’m preparing for the MBA entrance exams since past one year. But after all the running around, I feel, what’s the f@#$ing point in going through such an activity? Can you evaluate the effectiveness of a manager through evaluating the number of RC attempts he makes? Can you evaluate how effective will be the marketing skills of a manager based on the attempts in quantitative areas?
One might argue that it is a system followed everywhere, even abroad and there are even other selection tools like Group Discussions and Personal Interviews that assist better selection. Agreed. But for me there’s a lot more to a manager’s life than just projects and presentations. There’s more that goes in the evaluation of an individual than just the conventional GDs and PIs. And that’s why I simply do not want The Conventional Indian MBA to be my near future goal in life.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a whacko iconoclast always trying to question how things function. All I feel is, we deserve more value than what we get. And this is what I feel, so go to some other website if you feel like questioning my feelings. Drishti is perhaps the greatest teacher in this direction.
Just think. From the Director to the student who knew about the Mega Edition project were unsure about the feasibility of the project. But I had to prove them wrong. And I did. Actually it was quite some time after the project when I realized the enormity of the situation. When people looked at me amazed and dumbfounded on the fact that I had collected 37500 rupees for the Mega Edition. That’s when I realized, that when focus meets dedication, anything is possible. Perhaps it has been rightly said by Benjamin Desraili – “The secret of success is constancy of purpose”.
And this exercise made me realize how underestimated is a person’s potential. Because its not only about me. Any other person who had the willingness to make this thing happen would have made it. Knowledge and clarity of thought will be mere catalysts. Rest is all up to you.
The entire exercise has made me more liberated. It doesn’t matter if people joke about you or your feelings. Because you know who’ll have the last laugh. Thanks to Drishti, I’ve found a new path. This path in simple English translates to – pursuing MBA from Said Business School, Oxford University. Yeah right. Read that again sucker. Its Oxford University.
Exaggerated? I don’t think so. Besides as I had already said, its my blog not yours. And I know how things will work out. Conviction will carry me far. Just wait for a few years.
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