On change and flexibility

Its after quite some time that I’m attempting to write a blog… so much has happened within a year. So much could have been done. So much has already been done.

Its actually funny when you look from a year long perspective. Usually it is said that college life just zaps by and you don’t even come to realize it. But then once you’re out of the college, you seriously realize how long 3 years can be, or have been. It’s a matter of the time dimensions that you choose.

When you are in college, you’re in a time dimension that moves immensely fast. Where everyday is like a new day and thus the 9 months of an academic year, though largely repetitive for all the 3 years, yet proves to be significantly different. While you are in a job, no matter how high it may pay you, proves out to be so mundane, and so stagnant.

I’ve realized one thing in life. I can only live happily if my life is not stagnant. Or so to speak, there has to be something or the other going around. I cant live with the same events and things happening for the rest of my life. Now that doesn’t mean that I keep changing girls like I change the wallpapers on my PC. But yes, there has to be some spice.

I mean, a human is a composite of so many things. There are innumerable characteristics that he possesses. Surely he should be able to re-invent himself every now and then. Because I’ve seen, people do get bugged out of a stagnant life. They become increasingly cranky and talk such stupid stuff. Their boundaries become so narrow. Vision becomes cramped and tapered.

I don’t want those. I want a boundless vision. I want to understand every weird philosophy that one propounds, and if I find it to be acceptable, I accept it. I want to be flexible in life. Because I’ve realized that it puts you in a better position than the rest.

“I can’t each such food”, “I cant stand that person”, “I don’t like dogs” and all that staunch crap. What difference does it make if you’ve got to eat soggy food someday instead of the regular spicy paneer! If you seriously cant stand it, make it on your own. Yes, you can surely complain if the trend continues for quite some time, but then, if such events take place once in a while I don’t suppose you’ve got any reasons to fret.

I’m not boasting about myself. But then I know the kind of life I’ve gone through. During the year of my board exams, I used to spend nearly 4 hours in the bus alone, since where I lived was a township which was quite far from the nearest city. And that bus used to be the state transport ones. With remnants of paan all around you; the stench of guthka and bidi can seriously get on your nerves.

And even after that, there’s 30 minutes of traveling by open chakda rickshaws. The problem was not the mode of transportation. The problem was the type of people that sit alongside you.

They were the people who defined the true state of our economy. They were the people whom we now proudly term as the bottom of the pyramid segment. These people have an unbearable smell coming out of their clothes. Their mouths are eternally filled with guthka. They stare at you, simply because they don’t want you to sit aside them. You don’t belong there. Your clothes are fresh. Your body oozes out the fragrance of a deodorant.

It has been a learning experience to sit beside such kind of people for a year long period. They use their hands more than their brains. They’re always on the verge of losing their anger. They’re frustrated because of the scarcity of money. And yet they do nothing about it.

They accept is as their destiny and move on. They live in the same hut for all those years till they die. Everyday, while returning home, they look at the sprawling refinery of Reliance Industries and thank the Ambani brothers since their siblings got a small time contract job under a contractor who works for Reliance.

And that’s how they live. Spending half of their money on guthka and similar other addictions, and the rest on the basic necessities. It’s a sad sight if you ask me. Really sad. Sometimes I wonder how could they live with such low self esteem for themselves. Maybe that’s why they’re so cranky. Because they’ve got to have an upper hand somewhere. If not money, they could at least prove themselves superior by way of physical prowess.

They might feel superior, but I can stop pitying them. Just look at the heights of desperation. They have nothing except their muscles to satisfy their ego.

But that’s the way they function. My intellectual capability thus was not at all a part of the competition. And that’s why during my life of commuting with these people, I chose to remain away from arguments.

To sum it up, it was a good and a bad experience. Bad, because traveling by such modes of transport does bog you down. But then you’ve got no choice, so you have to stick to them. Bad, because I pity those poor souls who already accepted the way they live.

But it was good in some senses too. Good, because I realized that its not good to accept sometimes what your state is, especially if you’re not satisfied by it. Because the effects of such an acceptance are far reaching and can lead to serious psychological disorders. You need to build the courage to change things, for your own good. It doesn’t matter here what others might tell you, because eventually, you want to be happy. And they’re stopping you from being happy since they are jeaous.

And finally, I concluded the entire experience in one single statement. You gotta earn money. Period. I know its too clichéd a statement. But then hey, I learned it this way. People crave for emotional well being, people want to be happy, satisfied that they loved a few people in their lifetime. And that they were loyal to them. But then, loyalty, sustenance, integrity, all these come when you’ve got the resources to maintain them.

If you don’t, well you can always live in a one room hut, chew guthka all day and fight with at least one person per day. And try to see if that makes you happy…

The felicitation function - A year back

(I wrote this when I was in my TY, a year back from now)

Its over! The felicitation ceremony. With all its blunders and lifeless chief guests. God I’m happy. Because I was the host for the event. In fact if it’s an intra college event, the pressure is quite less. But when some big guns from the industry and other high places are called in, the event itself gets a higher status. In fact from the initial looks of the guests that usually come, there is nothing inspiring about them. Not even their looks. Their speeches are even worse. Some are no doubt better. But very few people of such kind come to grace the occasion. You know sometimes I feel they are not big guns at all. They may be called guns but without the bullets. They have only empty shots.

My reason for this post holds no reason whatsoever. But perhaps you can say that I’ve taken Hajmola pills to cleanse my mind. The Third Year has quite officially begun along with its tissue of contraries. There are so many things to say however, all the issues bear no relationships amongst themselves. I know the reader will find this all talk so confusing, but then right now, even I am feeling quite confused as to what to write.

Firstly I don’t understand why the college has to be soooo stubborn in inviting a panel of guests so lifeless, that the entire zeal of the ceremony gets lost. Faggots, they try to call my buddies popped balloons! Just wait till I squeeze some helium filled balloons up your @$# and you’ll understand how it feels like. They brag about success and other regular philosophies as if they are the next Socrates! But you know all these speeches bear a similarity to the ‘K’ serials of Ekta Kapoor. They are all so drab and so artificially traditional. They deliver the same idea using different words. Some things never change.

One thing I’ve learned is that I really hate tradition bound teaching. And I mean it. The professor comes to the class, bugs you about the outdated course and suggests a reference book that is being used since ages, but a newer edition with a fancier title page. You rattafy the entire book and you are king. This is the case especially with the visiting faculty than the permanent faculty. There is no original thinking.

Sometimes I feel I should write a fantastic educational book, like Kotler did, sit back and relax and earn a handsome royalty, since some nerds like us would also buy our books for ages to come. The trend will go on and on. And then if you feel you had enough of free time, well, you just change the typesetting, change the layout and release a newer edition. The sales are up once again. And you sit back and relax once again. Oh, and if you want to know the other changes in the newer edition, well I’ll just put new illustrations (which were exercises in the previous edition) and I also add new exercises (which were illustrations in the previous edition)! Profound ain’t it?

Drishti - My Vision

Perhaps this is one topic where I can write for pages and pages together. Drishti; to a normal college going student, would mean some beautiful girl, but for me it was the most elevating experiences of my college life. And it still continues to be one.

From the very First Year my perceptions have changed towards the magazine, what it offers and what can you offer back. The changes are not drastic, yet inside the tranquillity lies the vigour that enhances change. For some this urge to change would convert in the form of attaining personal fame, which I confess is the case to a certain extent. But we’ll get to that later.

In the First Year, what did Drishti mean to me? My opinion about the magazine was like any other normal B Grade student would think like. It’s a management institute’s magazine. People come to do BBA so that they can do an MBA. So what should Drishti contain? All about getting into a good MBA school!! But obvious! And of course if we add only things related to management, it would bore the reader. So add in the regular frills and viola! It’s ready!

This perception held things together for one year. Come Second Year and the thoughts change. People don’t want only management. And people don’t want only gossip. But they want a blend of those. Something that you find in Economic Times. Lets say, during the budget sessions, ET asks celebrities about their expectations from the budget. Some answers are nonsensical as expected, yet some are even sensible. The idea was to lure the reader into a trial. If he liked it, he would read it again. But the matter of fact is that no one wants to read. They are tired of it. The urge to hold a book in their hands is lost since the era of television. Watching Discovery Channel and reading a book on Egyptian History possess vast differences in the experience they provide.

And until there is an inner drive within them, to improve, to do something better, to excel Drishti can never be successful. The Editorial Team is doing a fruitless activity in one sense. But if you look at it the other way around, the activity is certainly yielding some results for the Editorial Committee if not for the other students. If you say that providing the best of articles, giving the best of value addition, will eventually lead to the identification of Drishti as a class magazine, its all gas. Humbug.

One cannot change another’s habits. He can try to make the other person realise the results of his current actions. I fail to understand one simple logic; can you develop interest for external reading only when you are preparing for an MBA? Then in actual sense I wouldn’t call it developing interest, its more like persuading yourself to get a book in your hands and then after reading a book or two you suddenly realise how enjoyable this activity is! Bottomline, these days even to make a person read books he has to be pressurised, especially for students from Gujarat.

And that’s where The Mega Edition comes into the picture. Since the students don’t come and read your magazine, you go to the students and make them read the magazine. More, in the next chapter.

3 years of change

It has been quite some time since I left college. If you look at it from a broader perspective 4 months cannot be technically termed as ‘quite some time’. Still, after one leaves BKMIBA, it becomes increasingly difficult to let the days pass in a whim like they used to earlier.

Life has stagnated. I could say that I am standing on a crossroads deciding which path to take, or I’m on some path to ‘finding my own self’ and all that philosophical crap. But the fact is I am trying to find that solace, that energy and that magic that I found in college in the world outside. Be it my workplace, or my coaching classes, or be it the normal daily routine. And the problem is I’m unable to find a source that can match to the wonders of my college.

And even my heart knows that it is even pointless to expect the same magic that you found in college in the world outside. Before setting my feet out of the college I very well knew that such a stupendous experience would never be experienced ever again. And yet I still try to find something worthwhile, all the while knowing that my efforts are in vain.

Anyways, I do not wish to bore you further with utter philosophical nonsense..! There is no prime motive behind this email. But somehow, I felt it would be nice to share with you what I feel, since now I’m nowhere a part of the system. Once you become an outsider, it becomes easier to critically evaluate the scheme of things and you tend to take a holistic view.

All the 3 years of my college life have been vastly different. In terms of objectives, in terms of the outlook towards the system, in terms of the understanding of your own self and things like that.

First Year to be frank was primarily a year of shock. Shock in terms of the boundless energy that surrounded the atmosphere. The way people worked, the opportunities the institute provided, the stark revelations of your own flaws etc. etc. Basically here I felt it was better off to stick to the norms, be religious in terms of work designated and consider the statements of the professors as the final word which I was not supposed to question.

Each and every work was more skewed towards pleasing the higher people, making a name somewhere, somehow, making sure that I get noticed. So in a way I was using my brain the way others wanted me to use it, be it projects, or be it academics etc. There’s nothing wrong in it. Especially for starters, you need some base, so any base had to do. Because until you are well versed with the way things function you cannot add value to the same. So I was happy by following others, since I was even wanting to.

Come Second Year, and things changed a bit. I had understood things to a fairly good extent. Thus, now it was time that my own thought process added value to what I was doing. I knew that somewhere things were even going wrong, but then I considered myself to be no one to question those things. I played along, tried in my subtle ways to change things here and there. But that didn’t help much, yet I played along. Because I still didn’t have a base firm enough to question anyone.

Third Year was the year of implementation. Even today, the juniors very fondly remember my group as the bunch of students who didn’t give a damn about the attendance norms and the way professors would react to our blatant revolts.

I do agree that we had based ourselves so firmly that if we chose to withdraw ourselves from the activities happening at the institute, there would have been a definite vacuum of efficient manpower. And this very fact of our importance in the institute gave us an air of superiority. It did happen, no doubt and we all even accept it today. But we even tried our best to make sure that it didn’t get the better of us.

But frankly we all had even resolved to enjoy the last year as much as we could, so studies and academics to an extent took the back seat. And our projects took the main position.

That brings us to the touchiest topic of our entire Third Year, the group project. Just think madam, the people under whom we worked for the project for the initial 2 years and made our project as per their specifications led to we being selected for the project presentation competition.

Now the same people, in Third Year rejected our proposal at first go, and considered our proposal as ‘sub-standard’, and that project finally went forward, and bagged the project excellence award. A rejected proposal winning eventually. But the winning took a little bit of listening on our part as well. Simply because we didn’t follow what ‘they’ wanted. Simply because ‘they’ didn’t believe in our work.

I’m not once again going on a complaining drive, because I understand everyone has limitations. And you can never force anything on anyone. But then what I’ve also learned is that if you believe in something really strongly, when you know that what you want to do is far better and beneficial for your own sake, than what the rest of the world thinks of it to be, I think that ‘thing’ is definitely worth fighting for. Be it your proposal, be it your decisions regarding life or other emotional crap.

In the third year we had resolved, to enjoy the final days to the fullest, because we wanted it. And we don’t have a stint of regret doing that. Because we did what we wanted. And that was the best part of the entire Third Year.

Many a times we were always in a dilemma as to which was the best year. Was it the Second year or the Third? Because in Second Year, we were Mr. Goody Two Shoes… While in TY we were the nuisance creators. It seemed interesting experiencing both sides of a student life.

But by being Mr. Goody Two Shoes, we only satisfied others, made others happy and proud. While in Third Year, we only made ourselves happy, satisfied our own inquisitiveness, definitely for the better. The problem is, even today, I find it difficult to determine which approach to take in the years to come. What should I be? Mr. Goody Two Shoes or Dennis the Menace?

I’m searching for an answer to this. Because I know I’m not going to get a leader such as you in my following years. And if at all I do I’ll surely let you know… But yes, it’s a fact that you surely have been the best leader I’ve come across till date. Apart from all the tensions that we generated, all of us, are more than proud to have been nurtured under you.

But then, there’s also a part of us that is not very well accepted. That we stand up for what we believe in. And that in a way blotted our image. Somewhere, over the years, we need to arrive at a point of parity. Where we are in the good books and also we get what we want. Making our point clear. Or in technical terms, ‘Branding ourselves’ (probably that’s why I wish to go into marketing).

All in all, I’ve realized one thing. Its about implementing this one quote that I found in Mr. Pramod Batra’s Book,

“For 25 years, I tried to change my wife; then after thinking for 25 minutes, I thought I should change myself!”

Return of the Jedi...!

Well, I've been off my blog since quite some time now. But then enough is enough. I better resume what I loved to do most. Writing.

So you can very well expect some nuisance creating blogs from now on.

(Side by side I'm even trying to earn money using Google AdSense... Lets see if I can chalk out my retirement plan from the money I get) Chow, for the time being.